stacie's sacred space

what i'm noodling on these days

• how to redecorate my red wall (a.k.a. the heart of my home)
• this meditation i found last week on my calendar

(god in the moment from ann voskamp's one thousand gifts)

whatever the pace, time will keep it and there's no

outrunning it, only speeding it up and if you pound the

feet harder, the minutes pound faster too. and i race

for more and i snag on time and i leak empty and the

longer i keep running, the longer the gash, and i drain

bleed away.

hurry always empties a soul, and it has mine.

 

• reading a book on my iphone - yes, i bought my very first ibook from itunes. it's 829 pages, and i'm on page 154!

******************************************************************************************************

that's where my heart and mind are these days.

it's may today.

in just a little over a month it will be summer and my babies will be back in the nest more.

can i get a woohoo from any other crazed mommas reading here?

woohoo!!!!

pleasant

the weather is so nice, i haven't been hangin' around my computer much.

i got the chance to read a little of my book and my mind was wandering a little while i was reading.

i started writing all over the back cover and could have written a post right then.

it was just so pleasant sitting in the shade on a bench by myself reading that i was fine with not having my computer near me at that time.

now i'm pretty tired.

it was a very full day.

my mind is pretty mushy by now.

 

 

but i can't wait to build legos and play outside a whole bunch on spring break 2012!

johnny's starts today ... i get to hang with him for the next week and a half.

i'm gonna soak it up!

word

"amen, amen i say to you, unless a grain of wheat shall fall upon the ground and die, it remains a single grain with no life. but if it dies, it produces a lot of fruit."

john 12:24

 

 

what do i need to let die so that more fruit can be produced in me?

this time of year i remember to ask that question in my prayers ... especially when i watch the trees let go of their leaves making room for a season of rest then new growth.

i want clarity in that answer for my own life.

in the meantime, i'm grateful to have the word guiding me in my life.

a couple nights ago

i was losing my patience after a long evening of parenting and folding laundry when my iphone was ringing.

i didn't even know where that iphone was because jeffrey just drops it from the last point of play.

the phone call was from my good friend, eddie who had just checked www.apple.com for the latest specs on the new iphone 4s coming out next week.

he said, "hey stacie, your dad is happy tonight because steve jobs is in the house."

i said, "what do you mean? did he die?"

"yep," he confirmed.

my heart skipped a beat in sadness for that man and all of the people who loved him or were inspired by him. (he did change the world we live in!)

then i laughed, and eddie and i talked about how dad would want to be one of the first to greet steve in heaven.

my saddened heart became happy at the thought of my dad's joy!

dad believed in apple like no one else i've ever known.

dad was definitely a steve jobs follower.

i can remember him watching steve's presentations on his laptop in the family room over and over so he would be able to walk onto the next college campus he was going to and pitch the latest and greatest.

he wanted to pitch it with as much passion as steve!

after dad died, i found myself watching the product announcements on my laptop in bed with a smile on my face.

steve's passion is contagious!

it's easy to watch steve jobs on stage and remember my dad.

i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one who thinks that, and man, i'll miss that!

it was clear that i'm not the only one who thinks that when i got a few texts and that call from eddie within minutes of the sad news wednesday night.

i went to look at www.apple.com and saw that beauty of how they are honoring steve jobs.

what creative genius' they have who surrounded him! (the picture, the words you read after clicking on that picture, the simple and clean design of it.)

again, i thought about dad and the picture mom has of dad with his hand on his chin like that.

i wore a white apple shirt all day yesterday with joy in my heart that i was blessed to have a dad who taught me about passion, loving the work you do, design, great products! 

i will continue to buy apple products ... i started drinking the kool-aid when i was learning to use an apple ii c and floppy disks, and i'm pretty sure i can help you understand the value you get with apple products if you aren't convinced, yourself ;)

i can't wait to read this book about his life.

i watched the standford commencement speech he did a couple times today. those are some very inspiring words! i love the part about connecting the dots. well, i really loved all of it.

i also liked this blog post by one of my favorite authors.

words

this is all i've got today.

a fine piece of writing that our facilitator read to close the class i'm taking last night.

to me, it's calming and thought provoking.

enjoy!

 

**************************************************************************************************

 

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know 
if you will risk 
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are 
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you 
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know 
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone 
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

**************************************************************************************************

source here

it's a new adventure

i love the saying:

go out for adventure, come home for love

so they're out now ... and i can't wait till they are back home because love will surely be waiting.

i have all day to find my patience and compassion again because it seems as though in the hustle and bustle and excitement and butterflies stole those things from me.

 

 

who put these kids on the fast track to growing up?

jeff is here to help me remember they are still little and i have plenty more moments to enjoy mothering these babes.

reading, practicing, trying to get it to sink in

i'm takng an awesome photography class!

ashleyann makes it simple to understand composition of a pic and shooting in manual.

she also inspired me with this story.

god is really good!!

so in my spare time i'm reading the course (it's only available for three weeks and two of those are almost gone for me.)

these lighting conditions weren't idea for practicing.

i do it whenever i can inside this beauty full life i have!

 

when the kids are fighting to help me practice, it's good.

 

 

i just love shots with all four of them in the frame.

i see so many stories right there.

 

 

and i mess up a lot too ... it's gonna take me a little while and a lot of practice to shoot in M (i feel okay about P and Av though so that's a start).

 

 

again a shot with all four kids ... it's kind of like where's waldo sometimes.

can you spot johnny?

 

 

johnny had to make a rock collection today.

he's a collector!

yesterday's collection was sticks.

 

 

the sky was a much more vibrant blue ... i wonder which setting needed adjustment here? i'll have to keep reading in my spare time.

 

 

jeffrey was delighted when i placed him up after watching his big sibs climb then when he got up there and looked down and me, somehow it wasn't so fascinating!

 

 

i had a feeling this mud puddle wouldn't get untouched unless i gave strict instructions.

there's no doubt this kid knows how to play.

i'm afraid i squashed some of the carefree playing out of some of the older kids young life.

 

 

look how happy he is to be messy!

 

 

and this one had to take his glasses off when he saw how high that drinking fountain shot up!

i just love that face :)

 

 

there's something about hands and feet that i just can't get enough of.

messy, little hands melt my heart.

 

 

it took us a while to brave the punks in the skatepark.

joey wanted to leave after hearing a bunch of "bad words" too.

 

one of my favorite things in the whole wide world ... ruffle socks and chucks on my daughter!

i remember

mom and dad and some of my aunts and uncles and grandparents went to art shows when i was a kid.

sometimes i went, sometimes i stayed back to play with the cousins.

they were in the hot summer!

i remember it so well.

last weekend it was fun to go to our little local art show ... it brought me back to my roots plus i had my middles with me and my niece, andrea.

 

 

 

 

breaking for a snow cone to listen to some good music helped the kids to keep going :)

 

thanks andrea for taking pics of us!

one thousand!

there are 1000 posts here now.

for this occasion i'm giving away a copy of this book and a surprise!

this sacred space has become a very good friend of mine.

i live more deliberately.

i remember to snap that pic.

i see the beauty even in the messes.

i laugh when i'd rather scream sometimes.

i get to reflect here almost daily.

which is a little funny because one of my fears when i started this was that i wouldn't be able to keep up.

so if you are a regular reader who wants to share your story ... start writing and see where you go.

if not now, when?

i get to thank angi for inspiring me!!

i can't really imagine my life without my story on paper and my camera in hand more often than i ever thought it would be. 

so if you want a book and a special surprise leave me a comment between now and the end of this month.

you can ask me a question about something you'd like to know about us or you can just say hi!

then i'll draw a winner on friday, july first and send some happy mail your way.

thank you for encouraging me, sharing ideas with me, reading past all my typos and loving all of us (dave, j kids and me) just the way we are.

your comments make me smile every time you leave one :)

the church girls

 

a couple years ago i decided one of my personal non negotiables was to make my wednesday morning church girl meeting a priority so if i was asked to volunteer at that time or be somewhere else or doing something else (besides take care of sick kids), the answer was no.

i wanted needed to be with these wonderful girls in prayer.

god's hand is in my life.

i really feel it when i have the courage to say yes to things like small church communities at the huge parish we belong to.

i did this shortly after i became a full time mama.

it was early 2008 and i needed to pray the scriptures at that time more than i even knew especially with devoted women who were wives and mamas and sisters and daughters and friends just like me.

these ladies welcomed me and all my wounds (i was very tender at that point in my life), they share their struggles, they love me even with my baggage and young kids clinging to me, they pray with me and for me, they cooked for me when jeffrey was born, they challenge me while being compassionate.

the church girls are awesome!

we all care so much about how to raise our babies (and they are from 3 months to around 23 years old) loving God, being spiritual and in the catholic faith.

we support each other, share ideas, cry, hug, laugh and get through it all together.

this group changes and we are molded by everyone who's joined us for one time or one year.

i find great joy knowing on wednesday mornings from september through may i get an extra dose of God's Word with some really special people.

thank you kate, cindy, liz, kris, julie, theresa and kellyn ... from the very bottom of my whole heart. (and katy and patty too who aren't pictured here ... someday all of us will finally be in the same place at the same time and i'll have my camera too :)).