stacie's sacred space

my yearnings

the simple life.

i yearn for it.

i am reminded quite often that i just might be living it right now as i type.

i yearn to get back to making space this the story of my life too.

it's hard to get all that vulnerable and open when my heart is this cluttered though, and that it is these days!

bear with me.

twenty12 has been quite a year for me so far!

***************************************************************************************************

i got to go out and snap at sunset a couple times this beautiful week.

the joy i see when i'm looking through my lens is pretty amazing!

meet josie and andrea, two sweeties who get to make their first communions tomorrow.

this is a big deal!!

 

 

 

what i'm noodling on these days

• how to redecorate my red wall (a.k.a. the heart of my home)
• this meditation i found last week on my calendar

(god in the moment from ann voskamp's one thousand gifts)

whatever the pace, time will keep it and there's no

outrunning it, only speeding it up and if you pound the

feet harder, the minutes pound faster too. and i race

for more and i snag on time and i leak empty and the

longer i keep running, the longer the gash, and i drain

bleed away.

hurry always empties a soul, and it has mine.

 

• reading a book on my iphone - yes, i bought my very first ibook from itunes. it's 829 pages, and i'm on page 154!

******************************************************************************************************

that's where my heart and mind are these days.

it's may today.

in just a little over a month it will be summer and my babies will be back in the nest more.

can i get a woohoo from any other crazed mommas reading here?

woohoo!!!!

full moon, holy week, and easter

i just learned in the last several years that the way the date of easter is determined is by the sunday that comes after the full moon that follows the spring equinox.

so i've enjoyed watching the full moon rising this holy week.

holy week is full of meaning ... jesus died to open the gates of heaven for us.

"he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." -philippians 2:8

it's so amazing to me!

and in the little reflection time i've had this week, i thought about how hard it is to watch someone you love die.

every time i went to stations of the cross this lent i was brought to tears.

it is both an extremely uncomfortable and painful prayer as well as an inspiring prayer that can bring me to peace.

i cannot believe how closely the end of dad's life aligned with the stations.

cancer was the cross dad had to carry.

dad was obedient to death too.

he carried his cross with dignity and love.

all of this to say i understand the seriousness of holy week and the easter holiday.

and you might not find me at all of the church services or masses this week, but if you were one of the eight kids who had their feet washed tonight in my home, you might know that i am connected to the holy one.

i pray that i may be an obedient servant as i walk, stumble, or even occasionally run on this earthly journey.

may you too find a little time to sit still and reflect this holy time of year.

expect miracles

 

we finally had our follow up doc appointment today with an orthopedic surgeon.

it's been a long wait for us!

we got great news after a repeat xray.

the "spot" on his original xray is gone.

it disappeared!!

this is a miracle!

thank you, everybody who walked this journey with us by caring and praying for us, loving and supporting us, guiding us, listening to us.

 

**********************************************************************************************************

it was definitely a journey.

and one i need documented.

this is the best spot for me to put it where it won't get lost :)

*************************************************************************************************************

dave and i wondered, we sometimes lost sleep about it, we prayed, we talked, we sometimes even ignored.

on january eighteenth jeff complained about his leg hurting and had a fever the next day i saw him limp and the fever remained.

late afternoon on january nineteenth, jeff and i went to the pediatrician's office to get checked out.

from there we were sent to get an xray and bloodwork done.

we came home for a few hours, then headed down to the hospital with dave.

the three of us spent most of january twentieth there waiting to have an mri done.

after the mri was done, read, and compared to the xray, we were given the diagnosis of a cortical desmoid.

it was a normal variant.

we thought that sounded like an oxy moron, but we were delighted to be heading home with the rest of our people in our cozy home!

just in case we weren't sure, we knew now that we have amazing friends who were willing to step in and take over with our home and other three kids.

we had playmates, housekeepers, cooks, prayer warriors, travellers, snow shovellers, cleaners, babysitters.

everything we needed and more appeared in this very "moment" of our lives.

less than twenty four hours after we came home, jeff barfed and passed it around the whole house!

the barf bug lasted about eight days and i was the only one who didn't get the barfarreha.

i was just nautious and sick of cleaning up nasty and running the washer on the sanitary cycle.

then we got a little break from the sicknesses to throw a birthday party for janie and enjoy valentine's parties.

after that we moved onto more fevers and ear infections.

jeffrey complained about leg pain especially the couple weeks when he had a fever a day or two.

he pointed right to the "spot" (above his right knee on his femur).

we worried some more and wondered what was going to be next.

today a huge weight that i've been carrying on my heart has been lifted.

for that we celebrated, and thanked God!!

and just as we were going to go somewhere special downtown for lunch, we got a call from johnny's school that he was sick in the nurses office.

life goes on ... even after miracles happen :)

high five

here are my five favorite things from this week in no real order or rank.

5. i got to hike at highbanks.

4. i got to take a nap on the couch.

3. i got to feel warm breezes and notice buds on trees ... spring is coming soon!!

2. i got to replace our broken toaster.

1. i got to take my boys to pray the stations of the cross.

sunshine = happy

the morning started off a little slow, or uhhh, full of crankies in the house.

i was all up in my head going through all that needed to be done.

the kids were bickering.

ink was smearing on the thank you cards janie was writing.

i was looking at cluttered counters and small messes everywhere!

everything was driving me crazy!!

the sun was shining outside.

that right there helps me figure out how to get happy.

blue sky, bright sun, ahhhhhh.

i got to take a walk in the woods with my bestie.

a bunch of my pent up energy was burnt off right then.

then i got to go out on a date with my camera and kara!

and i got cuddle time with each of my favorites.

when forgiveness and fostering an environment for reconciliation are top of mind, opportunities to live it out appear magically.

*******************************************************************************************************

here's my new friend, graduating senior, future babysitter, kara.

 

 

twenty two

1. we've lived in our house for exactly ten years today!

2. the longest i've ever lived at one address is fourteen years.

3. i am tired.

4. lent is the easiest time for me to practice self discipline.

5. i'm challenging myself like never before this year.

6. i felt great on my run today, and things hurt now.

7. i am proud of my kids for who they are and who they are becoming.

8. when i left "muffins with moms and misses" at johnny's school the sun rays shining down were gorgeous.

9. i felt the presence of God on that drive.

10. i thought a lot about my dad and heaven today.

11. i like all of the different things i hear about that people do during lent.

12. i need to get my beans and a bowl and a jar out so we can start that practice again this lent.

13. the kids get so excited that the easter bunny will turn those into jelly beans in 40 some days.

14. i realized today that my nephews next birthday (it was yesterday), he will be twenty one on the 21st. i like those birthdays.

15. it's the geeky and party girl mixture in me, i guess that makes me like the combination of celebrations and numbers.

16. we get to go to a wedding this weekend.

17. i can't wait to dress the kiddos up, and i have no clue what i'm wearing.

18. i don't make it out here as often as i would like to, but i do make it to instagram almost daily.

19. i had to force myself to take some deep breaths today.

20. i want to practice good habits each and every day during lent.

21. i'm off to a great start, and i need to get out of bed to go floss my teeth before i fall asleep.

22. i had the day off work today, and it was so nice to wake up at six instead of in the three o'clock hour.

***************************************************************************************************

p.s. i loved reading this about lent.

i have heard people who don't believe in lent because jesus wouldn't want us to deprive ourselves. he sacrificed himself for us! that's enough.

and i've been asked whether or not this is just creating more guilt in my "house." uhhhh, i don't know, maybe.

the practice of lent has changed my soul and brings me closer to God every single year so i'm not going back. that's it!

a few gifts from my weekend

thanks, mom and dad, for the gift of my catholic faith.

thanks, God, for the grace of the sacraments that's easy to be open to.

thanks, rosie, for a reason to gather at mom's house.

 

 

 

 

 

enough said

my favorite daily calendar that sits on the sill above my kitchen sink was behind from being away.

i noticed and still couldn't even turn it yesterday.

i was too busy loving all over my family!

today, it got quiet after i got the big kids off to school.

i was thinking about grandma f (since today would've been her 85th birthday) getting ready to clean the kitchen, and i turned the page.

this was it.

great message for me right now in the very moment.

god spoke.

my heart was open to really hear these words.

i'm still processing all that's gone on in my life in 20twelve so far.

it's been a lot!

and that sums up my feelings.

gotta go get on with my rainy day now.

today's prayer

it's a beautiful day for the epiphany.

there's lots of light where i am.

thank you, sunshine!

i found the prayer below here.

dear jesus,

as you led the three kings to you by the light of a star,

please draw us ever closer to you by the light of faith.

help us to desire you as ardently as they did.

give us the grace to overcome all the obstacles that keep us far from you.

may we, like them, have something to give you when we appear before you.

mary, our mother, help us to know your son.

amen.

*****************************************************************************************************

and this one is the one we are going to pray tonight around our family dinner table.