stacie's sacred space

full moon, holy week, and easter

i just learned in the last several years that the way the date of easter is determined is by the sunday that comes after the full moon that follows the spring equinox.

so i've enjoyed watching the full moon rising this holy week.

holy week is full of meaning ... jesus died to open the gates of heaven for us.

"he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross." -philippians 2:8

it's so amazing to me!

and in the little reflection time i've had this week, i thought about how hard it is to watch someone you love die.

every time i went to stations of the cross this lent i was brought to tears.

it is both an extremely uncomfortable and painful prayer as well as an inspiring prayer that can bring me to peace.

i cannot believe how closely the end of dad's life aligned with the stations.

cancer was the cross dad had to carry.

dad was obedient to death too.

he carried his cross with dignity and love.

all of this to say i understand the seriousness of holy week and the easter holiday.

and you might not find me at all of the church services or masses this week, but if you were one of the eight kids who had their feet washed tonight in my home, you might know that i am connected to the holy one.

i pray that i may be an obedient servant as i walk, stumble, or even occasionally run on this earthly journey.

may you too find a little time to sit still and reflect this holy time of year.

hi papa! i miss you.

we talk about my dad a lot.

this week we saw a porsche with red brake drums and we walked past the apple store on the new ipad release day.

both of those remind me of him.

we tell stories and we laugh.

the kids love to hear about him.

johnny even recently asked if papa will wait in heaven for him.

we all miss him!

when janie saw helium balloons at a party we went to, she knew she wanted to take one.

she had a plan.

she knew just what she wanted to do with it.

she came right home and grabbed the sharpies.

she drew a sweet face and wrote, "hi papa! i miss you. <3 janie"

ever since she released it, she's been wondering how long it will take to get to him.

i think he got it!

green

yay, it's march!

i'm ready for green, another birthday, brackets to fill out and lots of basketball on tv, spring cleaning, and whatever this brand new month brings.

i love a fresh start, a clean slate, another chance.

i made a promise to dave and these guys last night ... i hope to will be more patient and kind this month.

 

insta saturday night

i consciously chose not to bring my camera with me tonight.

good thing iphones can capture moments even if they are blurry sometimes.

man, i was wishing i had more time to do a photo shoot with my kids.

sometimes it's hard to be the momma and the photographer though.

we were downtown.

they were dressed up.

we went to church at the cathedral.

we found a new park i heard about and couldn't wait to get to.

all of this because meredith and eric got married.

woohoo!! congrats you two.

our wishes for them included have fun, love much, enjoy many happy times, and fill your home to the brim with kids.

the dance floor, photo booth, food and cake tables, and candy bar were all favorite spots for this tribe!

the toast by the father of the bride and the dance with him and his daughter brought me to tears.

i was thinking about my dad and his toast.

i was thinking about how awesome he was.

i was thinking about how grateful i am that he got to do that for each one of us kids; even if one wedding happened after we already knew about the stinky cancer he got.

it was a good night!

 

 

 

 

 

dreaming

 

i'm dreaming of a vacation to the ocean.

with my five favorite people.

as soon as possible.

to take morning walks.

to feel the warmth of the sun.

to make drip sand castles.

to run into the ocean and go out as far as joey wants to go.

to take pictures.

to look at that spot where i see heaven and earth colliding.

sometimes i have to dream it up in my mind just to get through another ordinary day.

maybe i need to listen to a gift from the sea by anne morrow again.

that book is awesome!!

it helps me to slow down, breathe a little deeper, connect with my soul, and remember who i really am in this fast paced culture we live in.

twenty two

1. we've lived in our house for exactly ten years today!

2. the longest i've ever lived at one address is fourteen years.

3. i am tired.

4. lent is the easiest time for me to practice self discipline.

5. i'm challenging myself like never before this year.

6. i felt great on my run today, and things hurt now.

7. i am proud of my kids for who they are and who they are becoming.

8. when i left "muffins with moms and misses" at johnny's school the sun rays shining down were gorgeous.

9. i felt the presence of God on that drive.

10. i thought a lot about my dad and heaven today.

11. i like all of the different things i hear about that people do during lent.

12. i need to get my beans and a bowl and a jar out so we can start that practice again this lent.

13. the kids get so excited that the easter bunny will turn those into jelly beans in 40 some days.

14. i realized today that my nephews next birthday (it was yesterday), he will be twenty one on the 21st. i like those birthdays.

15. it's the geeky and party girl mixture in me, i guess that makes me like the combination of celebrations and numbers.

16. we get to go to a wedding this weekend.

17. i can't wait to dress the kiddos up, and i have no clue what i'm wearing.

18. i don't make it out here as often as i would like to, but i do make it to instagram almost daily.

19. i had to force myself to take some deep breaths today.

20. i want to practice good habits each and every day during lent.

21. i'm off to a great start, and i need to get out of bed to go floss my teeth before i fall asleep.

22. i had the day off work today, and it was so nice to wake up at six instead of in the three o'clock hour.

***************************************************************************************************

p.s. i loved reading this about lent.

i have heard people who don't believe in lent because jesus wouldn't want us to deprive ourselves. he sacrificed himself for us! that's enough.

and i've been asked whether or not this is just creating more guilt in my "house." uhhhh, i don't know, maybe.

the practice of lent has changed my soul and brings me closer to God every single year so i'm not going back. that's it!

valentines, health, and gratitude

valentines ... it's become our family thing to make 'em together. 

we make about 100 of them!

i'm getting ideas from the web while i'm supposed to be cleaning up the messes in this house or playing with my kids.

i have a pinterest board for my favorites.

i think i'll show 'em to the kids during our family fireside chat tonight so we can decide what they want, then i can shop for supplies and we can get to work soon!

*********************************************************************************************************

health ... how much i take good health for granted.

i'm thanking God everyday for healthy, strong bodies now.

what a scare we had last week with jeff!

the nurse i talked to today told me she's never seen a desmoid tumor in her thirty year career.

hmmm.

my heart is still a little restless.

it's just so nice to have a plan for next steps now.

(sigh of some relief).

******************************************************************************************************

i'm thankful for rainy days and white space on my calendar.

i'm thankful that dave laughs at my quirks and loves me just the way i am.

i'm thankful for friends who pick up panera bagels for me and my j kids so i don't have to go out and about in the rain with three kids.

i'm thankful for all the people who pray for our family.

some stuff

playing in the snow with my three big kids today was so good for me.

deep breaths of fresh air seeped deep down into my soul.

i got to practice being in the moment instead of all up in my head.

i have a new appreciation for all of the love and support in my life.

we had quite a little scare when docs found a tumor on jeff's femur bone.

thank you to all the friends and family who stepped in by praying for us, texting us, caring for the three big kids, cleaning up around my house, playing words with friends with me, commenting on my instagrams, cooking, calling, sleeping on my couch, bringing gifts, baking goodies, doing laundry, making us laugh, and driving here from out of town on a whim.

 

when i was doing homework with janie today, i had to pick four numbers between 1-10.

i picked 2, 5, 6, 9 because those are the years my kids were born.

i realized that those are their ages right now too.

strange coincidence!

my mind is a little mushy feeling so i was happy to discover it's still sharp in some silly ways!

this little guy loves playing photobooth.

i'm a little tired of it.

i am sleep deprived in general.

enough said

my favorite daily calendar that sits on the sill above my kitchen sink was behind from being away.

i noticed and still couldn't even turn it yesterday.

i was too busy loving all over my family!

today, it got quiet after i got the big kids off to school.

i was thinking about grandma f (since today would've been her 85th birthday) getting ready to clean the kitchen, and i turned the page.

this was it.

great message for me right now in the very moment.

god spoke.

my heart was open to really hear these words.

i'm still processing all that's gone on in my life in 20twelve so far.

it's been a lot!

and that sums up my feelings.

gotta go get on with my rainy day now.

the little things

i got a thank you note in the mail last week from a newish friend, jenny.

i had to read it a couple times.

it made me smile and cry at the same time!

how's that for real joy?

the thing she was thanking me for was something i thought was really little.

i like little things.

i love to share little things!

sometimes they are so little that nagging inner critic tells me they are too tiny to share.

in this thank you note, jenny shared a story about how my gift came just at the right time in her life.

serendipity ... yep, i believe in it!

that thank you note was so touching to me that i wanted to sit down and write thank you notes to all of the people who do so much for me (yes, even in the little things!).

this isn't the only time recently that i've heard how much little things i do touch others.

so gosh, darn it, i am going to continue my mission to quiet that inner critic (maybe even kick her out of my life).

i'm also gonna get caught up on my own thank you notes.

sometimes the little things make a big difference!!